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A Prayer for a wild heart kept in cages [entries|friends|calendar]

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(.1 got really drunk -- Be bold )

[03 May 2004|06:30pm]
I run so much,
It hurts to walk slowly and steadily.
I hold my breath so often,
It hurts to exhale.
I cry so often,
It hurts to laugh sometimes.
I scream so loud,
It hurts to whisper.
I remain unheard,
It hurts to have someone listen.
I frown so much,
It hurts to smile.
I’m numb so much,
It hurts to feel.
I die so often,
It hurts to live.

(.1 got really drunk -- Be bold )

[28 Apr 2004|07:07pm]
[ mood | numb ]

my eyes hot,
stinging with tears,
someone help me,
diminish my fears.

im hurting inside,
and i cant let go,
i have all these feelings,
im wanting to show.

i love you so much,
you're all that i need,
this pain i inflict,
to watch myself bleed.

the numbness is bliss,
but at times i do cry,
what you do to me,
i just want to die.

i scream so loud,
but no one can hear,
its my heart that is right,
my head i must clear.

I wish i were numb,
to the pain that i feel,
may i wake from this dream?
it cannot be real.

I want to wake up,
and see that you're here,
i see your open arms,
ever so near.

Is it really the end?
Should we say our goodbyes?
Or should I sleep off this nightmare,
And just close my eyes?

I love you so much,
One day you will see,
How much I need you,
And what you mean to me.

(.1 got really drunk -- Be bold )

It's been a while.. [08 Apr 2004|11:22am]
[ mood | jetlagged ]

Just got home from NYC, it was quite fun.. shopped a little, did some sight-seeing.. saw a little P-diddy (he is my man/boyfriend) It was a little chilly, but overall quite fun.. going to the beach today, quite exciting.. Hope everyone is having a good spring break.. I cannnnnot wait till school is OVER and its summer! but i will miss the seniors more than life itself.. It's ok though, gotta go shower

(.3 got really drunk -- Be bold )

OLD SCHOOL IS THE SHIZ [23 Mar 2004|08:19pm]
Watching Old skool.. cant wait for America's next top model finale and of course some SECRET AGENT!!!! YES!!

(.2 got really drunk -- Be bold )

[10 Mar 2004|06:36pm]
[ mood | sad ]

These past few days have been such a blur... I've never experienced anything like this. The vibe is intense.
I would like to express my condolences to the Graham family and their close friends as well. I'm moved by the immense support that Campbell Hall is providing, and the great impact that Mrs. Graham had on the lives of so many.. Anyone who knows Sam would agree she is a truely amazing person, and though i knew her mother very briefly, if she was anything like Sam, she must have been amazing. I love you Sam, and everyone is here for you.

(.6 got really drunk -- Be bold )

[27 Feb 2004|12:18pm]
[ mood | creative ]

I'm in English, so special.. just finshed rewriting my essay for the 4th time!! not so fun.. Gospel choir concert, tomorrow night.. Campbell Hall, 7:00 everyone be there!!!!! Live journal is addicting; it's been said.. uh oh, here comes mrs. LaGaly

(.3 got really drunk -- Be bold )

Humphreys is the place to be [23 Feb 2004|05:37pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

School was boring as my ass today, of course.. I get free dress all week!! whats up now!
Alex and i went to Humphrey's after school today, and wow, there was quite a beautiful (literally) surprise there.. It made me smile for the rest of the day! cant wait until Oxford!

(.2 got really drunk -- Be bold )

It's been awhile [18 Feb 2004|07:02pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

So sorry I've been gone for a week or so.. James came back so i was oh-so-busy! Alex-- All i will say is HARD OF YOU! (and big Al too, obviously) I'm starving so hardcore right now, i want that vegetable soup downstairs... Elizabeth Beachwood, where have you been all my life? our rendevous in the library this afternoon was most enjoyable.. Thanks to joey i was soaking wet all of 4th period, because he decided that i should "shower" under the rain pouring off the side of the student store, it was quite cold.. THE OC TONIGHT!! HELL YES BABY!

(.5 got really drunk -- Be bold )

SUSHI!!! [12 Feb 2004|08:44pm]
[ mood | my stomach hurts ]

me and nasim experimented with a new sushi bar in westwood, which was shit.. instead of "the shit", you know what i'm saying? for sure player.. Anyways, Nasim is officially the most crazy ass mother fuckin driver, but it's all good in the hood.
I'm excited for my little fellers to get their valentine grams with those sexual inuendos.. they are quite spectacular, i must say.. but it wasnt me who sent them.. or was it? oh gosh, crazy shit.. I love valentine's day, i got that bitch a hot ass ring.. i sorta want it for myself!
Much love

(.1 got really drunk -- Be bold )

I did 9 fuetes today! [10 Feb 2004|06:55pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

I'm quite proud of myself for my ballet accomplishment.. I've vowed to myself to try to stay on task this semester due to my failed report card (it wasnt too sexy) I'm feeling frustration and if this bitch doesnt call me back soon, it's his ass!
I just dont understand some people, I mean.. I have yet to understand how people drop friendships like its a piece of fucking candy.
That's me being a bitch; I just miss some friendships, really badly..
Anyways, today was a crazy ass day.. I had to stay for ballet with the fucking little children and this one fat girl stepped on my toe.. it didnt feel so splendid!
ONE TREE HILL TONIGHT PLAYER! im sooo excited!!!
Much love to all, maybe i should do my homework for a change?? ill look into it!

(.5 got really drunk -- Be bold )

Lost my breath [09 Feb 2004|06:31pm]
[ mood | awake ]

I'm so happy you're home! i missed you so much!! everything'll be good now!!! i love you!

Today was boring as my ass, Ms. ley's class is like hell on earth. Claire and Nina remain two of the hottest people to grace the earth, and i've newly discovered the extreme hottness that Regan hayes also exudes.
I also hate english, which is the devil as well.. Mr. anker is officially a very special man in my life, he saved me today, thank you again sir.!!
and sen., sen is way too sexy for words!! Laurel Salmon is an asswipe, i hope she loves me even after my jew jokes (she was hating on them)
Much love to everyone!!

(Be bold )

I'm ambivilant [08 Feb 2004|10:45pm]
[ mood | angry ]

"My watchful eyes, like those of a hawk,
Are ever focused on you, my Prey,..."
Why after so long do you feel this way?? I'm ambivilant; torn between two courses of action(people)... but i know who i want.. is it a matter of having him?.. I think so

(.2 got really drunk -- Be bold )

winter formal rocks my ass [07 Feb 2004|07:23pm]
hello all. its laurel updating for big m-dawg. last nite was by far the greatest thing of my life. our limo was the shiznit and i hooked it up hardcore with my bomb ass cds. dancing with ac was superbly enjoyable...he was one hot cookie..i think. i had a damn good time... parties are fun...we should hook that shit up more often. alrighty well then me and alex and madison are gonna go take "live journal pictures" it should be pretty damn entertaining. peace

p.s. i love joe ford

(.2 got really drunk -- Be bold )

Driving school= the devil [01 Feb 2004|02:31pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Ive been working online on my fucking drivers ed, and it blows major ass.
Went to serri's birthday/scavenger hunt last night.. sooooo much fun! mad props kathy and luis! Claire took awkward pictures of molly and I...
chilled with alex, big al, and chris (the master), we had waaay to much fun, and when i said i was tired, i DEFINATLEY meant it. passed out by 12:30
Cant wait till next sunday, but i know this week will be ever-so slow!
Winter Formal; our limo rocks, can i get a WHOOP WHOOP?

(.4 got really drunk -- Be bold )

I'm a silent film star [25 Jan 2004|03:01pm]
[ mood | unmotivated ]

This whole weekend is full of lost moments; Rinaldi, Burton, movement, friendships... lost, lost in translation? Everything is a blur.
I wish he would come back, and see that he's in my head every second. I can't function in this life without him.

(.2 got really drunk -- Be bold )

fuck this... again [22 Jan 2004|05:21pm]
[ mood | creative ]

a nice afternoon (alex)
"i walked to the park no, i just walked. i said i was going to the park, at least that's what i told her. But i was definatly not going there, no not today at least. I was just walking, with the sun on my face, feeling its warm embrace. The ground was at my feet i felt like i could walk all the way to China if i had a quick nap. I passed a homeless man at the corner of Apple and Tourner, he was carrying a small package, maybe a shoebox. That shoebox probably has inside it all his wordly possesions, all his possesion in a 11"x6" little box. I couldn't put all my things in a box, all my thoughts in a nutshell, yes, things in a box? Not quite. Two hispanic ladies pushed their little bundles of fucking joy in those stupid little wheelers you get from Target. I hate little kids, from age 3 to about 6 they should exsit. I shouldn't have kids, i thought about that like i didn't know, but really, i shouldn't. I passed the park of the screaming fuckers and the homeless, and made my way home as well. How many people were on there way home at this time? How many people had somehwere to go? One, two, three, four, i was finally walking home, that was enough excercise for the day. I walked home slowly, no i just walked, i never knew were i was going. "
Chenga tu madre. thats about how much i studied for spanish. I hope ms. ley enjoys that because im definatly wreiting that on my test. I had a really good day today, it was fun. I didnt do so well on bio but i hopin for the best. Tienes mucha divertida con tu estudias.

(.1 got really drunk -- Be bold )

studying is overrated [21 Jan 2004|06:12pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

i like afternoons in bed. and not moving until like 3 its nice, i am yet tp study for history,k little bit of a prolem but i dont like history anyways, its overrated.
i dont knwo why im so happy, its abnormal, everything is right but at the same time its not i know its not. its really weird, im watching orange county right now, great movie, saw ashton driving today in his red escalade, hes kinda a prick now though i dont really like him
we need more people like nina and claire in this world im so serious about that, i wish i could be as carefree, im in one of those writing moods, i submitted to caliburnis, dont make fun of me. i thoguht it would be something exciting, something different.
i dont get why people study, if your stupid then your stupid get over it, i did. just test your knowledge, then you can really say youre smart.
~"even in a world where people are superficial,and stupid, and selfish, theres still hope."

(.1 got really drunk -- Be bold )

[18 Jan 2004|06:03pm]
[ mood | nothing ]

I can't be sure that this state of mine
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test
For loneliness
For loneliness like this...

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
And talk is the same cheap it's been
Is there a God?
Why is he waiting?
Don't you think of it odd
When he knows my address
And look at the stars
Don’t it remind you just how feeble we are?
Well it used to, I guess

(.1 got really drunk -- Be bold )

This too shall pass [17 Jan 2004|10:40pm]
[ mood | missing you ]

it's not supposed to feel this way, i need you, i need you, more and more each day; it's not supposed to hurt this way, i need you, i need you.

I'll miss you so much, I'm so proud of you, I love you.

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